Are Halloween Costumes Becoming Hyper-Sexualized or Infantilized?

Are Halloween Costumes Becoming Hyper-Sexualized or Infantilized?

Are halloween costumes for little girls becoming hyper-sexualized, or are halloween costumes for adult women becoming infantilized? Is ‘sexiness’ defined by the clothes, or by the models pose, tilt of the head, and direction of her eyes? Who does this benefit and who does it harm?


Also, quit calling people slutty and don’t call anything associated with children or childhood slutty because duh duh duh. 

The shitty reporting of the rape of Chris Brown

The shitty reporting of the rape of Chris Brown

My latest for looks at the shitty reporting of the rape of Chris Brown and discusses the exclusion of men as victims within discussions of rape culture.

Sexual Empowerment or Sexism Rebranded?

In my first piece for bluestockings magazine, I take a brief look at sexual empowerment v. sexual exploitation coming out of third wave feminism, and how the voices and narratives of women who find liberation in ways other than through the appearance or actuality of being constantly sexual available have been drowned out.


Sexual Empowerment or Sexism Rebranded?.

FYI Mom Bloggers (If You’re Shaming Teenage Girls)

I wrote a response to FYI (If You’re a Teenage Girl). 


Can everybody please stop masturbating for five seconds so we can talk about modesty, but also talk about me? I was raised in the Roman Catholic tradition, and modesty was intertwined within every aspect of our teachings and culture. Our hems had to be a certain length, no makeup was allowed, and most of what I heard about sex as a child/tween was that boys want sex, they will do anything to get it, and you have to keep them from having sex with you, because they will try at all costs.

Of course it was never mentioned that girls will also want sex, so when the time comes and you do start feeling arousal and attraction, not only have you and boys both been taught that you’re responsible for keeping them out of your plaid skirts, you’re also responsible for keeping yourself out of their pants. (And if you’re gay, your sexuality was never ever brought up, but trust me, it’s still your fault and you are very very bad if you ever have an orgasm. Catholic guilt is always in abundance, enough to go around!) It’s confusing, indeed, to have the very idea of your own sexuality or arousal treated as non-existent or an illusion.

The message was loud and clear: ‘Boys and men are very sexual creatures and think about and want sex constantly. Women and girls don’t want sex. It’s something they do to appease men and it’s not something that women and girls think about or want.’ It can create a sense of guilt or shame when you do start feeling arousal, because ‘isn’t that just for boys?’ My own attraction and attractiveness were never to be discussed or acknowledged. And with that comes the burden, as an adult, of unpacking all of that dogma and conditioning and getting to a point of understanding that my own sexual arousal and desire are real, normal, and OK.

Further, it is OK for me to like the way I look and to be comfortable with that, and to not have to apologize for feeling pretty. And it can be difficult, as a girl or a woman, to feel beautiful. And if we can’t get to a point where we can feel beautiful, even feeling comfortable or accepting of ourselves can be a challenge. We are daily inundated with messages telling us how to perfect or enhance our beauty, how to change our bodies, how to adjust our clothes, how to attract a mate, and the focus, always, is on our bodies and the way we look. For many women, these messages are even more harmful, as the beauty standard constantly put forth is typically whiteness first and foremost, a white supremacist advertising utopia.  It is a form of cultural violence to perpetuate the lie that a woman’s worth is seated in her attractiveness, and that what can be considered attractive is limited to such a narrow construct.


Read the rest here 

Middle Aged Man Rapes Little Girl, Gets 30 Day Sentence

Middle Aged Man Rapes Little Girl, Gets 30 Day Sentence

Cherice Morales is dead, and her rapist, Stacey Rambold, will spend a mere 30 days in jail.

It’s a story we’ve heard before, over and over again, so many times now that it starts to feel like we are being beaten with it. This story, this lie, perpetuates itself in our homes and our courtrooms, taking countless victims and turning them into antagonists, trying to make you believe they are responsible for the crimes committed against them. The lie is one you have heard before: An older man rapes a young girl and the young girl is blamed for the rape, deemed to be in control of the situation. As this lie gets told you will hear similar details in each re-telling: She seemed older than her biological age, and, being that she was so in control of the situation, shouldn’t the public shaming of her rapist be enough punishment for him?

read the rest here

Why Reverse Racism Isn’t Real

I’ve been meaning to write this for a long time. I think I first promised it to a commenter when I initially began writing in this blog. I wrote it for Feminspire, and you can check it out over there. Check it out and hit me up in the comments to talk about it! I’d love to hear what you think.

Also, I am not just going to keep cross-posting Feminspire articles, I promise. I will have new material in this blog and independent to it within the next two weeks.


I got married once and I didn’t change my name. Wanna hear the how and why and what I think about this sexist tradition? Check it out on Feminspire! Hit me up in the comments section over there and let’s talk about it.

I Don’t Owe You A Smile Or My Time

If you identify as a woman, you’ve likely been subtly or overtly conditioned to always be polite, to smile, to take up as small an amount of space as possible, to not impose. And with that, you’ve probably had your boundaries crossed or not respected by a drunk dude at a bar, or a sober dude at a bar looking for drunk women to impose himself upon. It has happened to my friends and it has happened to me, and I can’t fucking stand it. When these situations arise, it can be a challenge to overcome a lifetime of training that teaches us to not offend, especially in a culture that often treats women as objects or public property. I am 31-years-old and I did not start actively putting my needs, wants and boundaries first until I was 30. That’s a lot of time spent trying to wriggle out of uncomfortable situations with excuses, or worse, being stuck in a situation that I felt like I could not extricate myself from. But the thing is, we don’t have to be polite, and it is totally and completely okay for us to state our boundaries and expectations and to demand our space.


Read the rest on Feminspire!

I’m going to start writing for Feminspire, and I want you to join the conversation!

Hey there! I have a ton of topics lined up to write about and I will be getting to those beginning this weekend and over the course of the next week. There’s a lot that’s been going on around the world and in my brain and I want to talk about it with all of you. Also of note and something I want to discuss here is that I am going to start doing a weekly column over at Feminspire! I will be doing editorial, beauty, and news. If you’re familiar with the way I write, you know that I approach current events through a sociopolitical, feminist lens and that intersectionality is a primary focus for me in my writing and in my life. I’m looking forward to this new adventure and hope that you will join me on it and meet me in the comments section over at Feminspire to carry on the conversation. I will keep you posted as this new venture progresses and let you know when my first pieces are up. I can’t wait to see you there!

Rape, Abortion, and House Bill 206.

I think I’m going to start compiling an entry of different ways women are being fucked over as visible in the news. Not a single day goes by that I don’t read something and wonder where this hatred of women comes from. Sometimes men are the perpetrators and sometimes women are the ones displaying the misogyny. This time, it’s a woman.

Rep. Cathrynn Brown (R) introduced House Bill 206 which aims to make it so that women who have been raped and then obtain an abortion could be charged with a felony for tampering with evidence. The bill would go into effect in July of this year. The bill defines tampering with evidence as ‘destroying, changing, hiding, placing or fabricating any physical evidence with intent to prevent the apprehension, prosecution or conviction of any person or to throw suspicion of the commission of a crime upon another.’

In this scenario, a woman who has been raped and wants an abortion would now be able to be tried for tampering with evidence in an attempt to prevent prosecution of a crime. We are living in a rape culture wherein a woman who reports her rape is already facing ridicule, potential physical harm, ostracization, and further trauma. The backlash from law enforcement, community and family can be immense. Of rapes reported in America, only 25% lead to an arrest. .Think about that. That’s a terrifyingly low number. Less than 3% of rapes reported are false reports. In a culture where sexual violence against women is common and often unchecked, where our right to reproductive control is constantly in jeopardy, what does this mean?

It means that once again there is another attempt to chip away at Roe v. Wade. Once again, a crime against a woman is not as important as humbling a woman and controlling her body. Once again, rather than taking time to prosecute the very real crime of rape, an attempt is being made to instead prosecute women who refuse to be human incubators. The shit of it all is that Cathrynn Brown is making the ugly claim that she is doing this to help women. She is insisting that this bill would be a measure to crack down on rapists and not a way to punish and demean women. ‘“New Mexico needs to strengthen its laws to deter sex offenders,” said Brown. “By adding this law in New Mexico, we can help to protect women across our state.” In her mind, women who have been traumatized by rape will benefit from the trauma of being forced to carry a baby they don’t want and to then give birth to their rapists child. If you want to protect women, you don’t cause them harm and trauma. You offer them unconditional support in the wake of their sexual assault or rape. You don’t re-victimize them to prove a point. 

Reporting a rape can be a trying and difficult situation that can sometimes put the victim under more duress and scrutiny than the rapist. A bill like this can only make it harder for women to report their rapes as doing so could mean they cannot obtain an abortion if they want to without being charged with a crime. Bills like this take away the constitutional personhood of the mother in favor of the fetus, all under the guise of protecting women. This cannot happen. 

Aborted fetuses contain dna matter. The biological evidence is in that tissue. If a raped woman wants an abortion and dna is needed, get it from the aborted tissue. And also consider that not every woman that reports her rape wants to press charges. Some women report their rape so that they can get a restraining order. Other women report their rape so that they can help the police demonstrate a pattern of assault against the assailant. Not every woman who reports her rape wants to press charges and in this scenario, even reporting it means you cannot have an abortion or you could be charged with a crime.


What do you think?




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